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i was lost in thought that I forgot I was walking on the road instead of the side of the road until an okada guy sped off me and shouted “werey… aye ti sun e abi? O de loku Si ile yin” meaning “life don tire you abi? Go and die in your house”…. I shouted back at him “Na your family be werey”. By then my brain has been restored to factory settings.
I managed to get home without any more trouble. I went to Funmi’s room and asked if Daddy asked after me and she said no. Then off to my room still thinking about what happened today. What if I’m really impotent? I got to ask someone… but can I ask my friends this type of question? I picked my phone and I dialled Emeka’s number. I ended the call when I remembered that Emeka is a lousy guy. He might tell my other friends and make jest of me.
I was still contemplating who to ask about my new found problem when my only bros entered.
Bros Segun: Na you dey rain now…. you no even dey tell me anything again. Oga oooo
I didn’t even reply him and I guessed that he knew that my runs today ni too click today.
Bros Segun: aburo… what’s wrong with you?
Me: Nothing Bros… today didn’t go on as expected.
Bros Segun: I told you what girls are about, didn’t i? You will be fine with time.. trust me. I was once in your shoes (Smiling)
I was not in with his jokes and he sensed that…. he stood up and was heading to the door when I called out.
Me: bros Segun (he looks back)… I have a problem but I don’t want to talk about it now. can I come to your room later in the day?
Bros Segun: (he sensed that I’m already in a big trouble). Sure Aburo… I will be glad to help my only brother. Expecting you sooner.
Me: Okay… thanks….
He opened the door and left. I was then back to my misery when Bidemi called….(wetin dis one wants sef). I ignored the call. The call just kept ringing that I had to put it on silent.
After like 30 minutes, I picked my phone… Only to see 32missed calls on it (is this girl mad or something?).
I checked the missed calls:
24 from Bidemi….
6 from Kikelomo…. and
2 from Motunrayo.
Which kin wahala be dis sef? Motunrayo sef don join the league of people out to frustrate me. Of all the days, she choose today to call me.
It’s now after 6pm. I know that Bidemi would have been worried but who’s not worried. I switched off my phone and I headed to my brothers room.
I met him watching a movie on his laptop. Immediately he saw me entered, he stopped the film and said my blood brother.
I took my time to explain everything and he was a good listener.
Bros Segun: Na dat one con dey worry you
Me: shame catch me no be small… I have refused picking their calls today (dint tell him that it was Bidemi&Kikelomo).
Bros Segun: what happened today was called anxiety… you were trying too hard and it backs fire…. next time: just relax yourself and enjoy yourself.
He kept explaining on the reason why I failed to rise to the occasion and he promised me to get some performance enhancer that would give me the much confidence I need.
Me: thank you oooo… Badoo owon obirin. I know I can always count on you.
Bros Segun: don’t mention… I would have prescribed Alomo or small stout but we don’t drink and I don’t want to put you on the bad path. but don’t worry… the drugs I will give you will definitely work.
Me: Ese Egbon mi…. I feel relaxed now… let me call my girls so as to see who go fall victim (forming Rambo).
Bros Segun: just take am easy and always use protection. For unwanted pregnancy and STDs.
Me: Oga oooo… I still have a long way to go. I’m going to my room to make calls. Thanks Badoo
Bros Segun: you no serious
Left for my room with my spirit now elated…. on my phone and messages start entering. Two from Bidemi and one from Kikelomo. Dint even bother calling them back… I just dialled Motunrayo’s number. She picks.
Motunrayo: hello… runaway boyfriend
Me: hanhan…. I wanted to call you but………! never mind. Thank God You called.. I can start calling now
Motunrayo: hmnnnnn…. okay oooo. How is life over there?
Me: life is good ooooo (at least for now). So what’s up?
Motunrayo: Nothing much…. since you dint call me, I want to know if you dint save the number I gave you the other day. Now I know that you did.
Me: I’m sorry. I’m a very emotional person. I don’t want to start showing off my bad attitude because of my mood. I just lost my grandfather from my maternal side.
Motunrayo: sorry for your loss
Me: thanks jare… I’m not even close to him but my mum has not been herself for the past few days. I’m always with her. Her mood is affecting me too (grandfather wey don die before dem born me sef).
Motunrayo: pele… my mind just wanted to check on you, as if I knew something was wrong.
Me: I’m fine now…. Ese. so tell me. Do you still have those shinning, white and good set of teeth when you smile?
Motunrayo: chuckles* I don’t know what you are talking about
Me: Okay…. I got attracted to you because of your smiles…. apart from your Smiles, I like you in person.
Motunrayo: hmnnnnn…. so you like me and you dint deem to call since
Me: I explained to you na…. don’t worry. I will start calling you every hour tomorrow to let you know how serious I am.
Motunrayo: (giggles) I hope you fulfil it.
Me: I will…. Motunrayo, can I ask for a favour from you?
Motunrayo: sure
Me: actually it’s actually two favour(s)… please
Motunrayo: hmnnnnn… okay… let’s hear it.
Me: Okay…. the first favour is… can I see you in 2/3days time.
Motunrayo: today is Friday…. and 3 days time would be Monday. I’m sorry but I can make it on Tuesday.
Me: fine. Infact splendid! Thank you
Motunrayo: you welcome. What about the second favour?
Me: it’s when we see then we will discuss about that
Motunrayo: Okay oooo. Where are we meeting?
Me: you choose… KFC, Mr Bigg’s, Tantalizers… just name it.
Motunrayo: no ooooo. I don’t do fast food dating. My place or your place.
Me: Okay…. (your place ke) if you know that I will be free in your place and area… I will come but I would have preferred my place.
Motunrayo: Okay… your place is it.
Me: thanks. My promise starts after 8pm oooo after my morning chores..
Motunrayo: what promise? O o Okay.. no problem. We talk tomorrow then. Good night!
Me: good night plus sweet dreams
She hangs up and I punched the air in excitement. I now read Bidemi message and she was begging me to please pick her call while her sister (Kikelomo) reads: “my sister kept asking me if I did anything to annoy you. Please pick her call before she picks up quarrel with me”.
My mind skips when I finished reading the message. I dialled Bidemi’s number and She picked on the first beep.
Bidemi: hello
Me: sweet heart
Bidemi: nawa oo… just dey do as you like. I have been calling you since. you refused to pick up and you later switched off your phone.
Me: My Dad was upset because I did not ironed the cloth he asked me to (I lied). He asked me to stool down. I had to put off my phone when the call was much and it kept vibrating in my pocket.
Bidemi: Pele… have you ironed the cloth now?
Me: Yes? Saw your sisters text and she was begging me to call you. Hoped you didn’t fight with her?
Bidemi: no oooo… just kept asking if she did something to annoy you that made you not to pick my call.
Me: something like what ooo?
Bidemi: never mind…. thank God That you are fine.
Me: Okay oooo. I want to rest. I’m very tired.
Bidemi: Okay… sweet dreams
Me: same here. (ends the call)
I decided to call Kikelomo to know how she feels about today. Dials her number and she picks.
Kikelomo: Hello
Me: hi… hope I didn’t get you angry too?
Kikelomo: hmnnnnn… yes you did! hoped you have called your girlfriend sha?
Me: Yes… I explained to her that my Dad punished me for not doing something at the right time.
Kikelomo: so you admit that she is your girlfriend….
Me: what do you have me say na? If I had said “no she’s not” you would have brought up another issue
Kikelomo: Okay…. I hope what you told her was not true…. Your Dads punishment
Me: No oo… just had to lie na… you know Bidemi na…
Kikelomo: hmnnnnn…. Mr lie lie…. I hope all the things you told me today were not lies ooo
Me: I can’t remember all that I said but the part that I said that I liked you was a perfect lie.
Kikelomo: (voice saddened) you lied so that you can have your way with me. That’s a very harsh thing to say.
Me: on the contrary….. what I meant to say is that I lied when I said I liked you ….. when from the bottom of my heart I knew that I love you. “I love you Kikelomo”. I have always loved you.
We kept quiet for a while. I got her off guard and I know that I’m having effect on her.
Me: Okay… I understand. I’m sorry for loving you. I think we should go to bed now.
Kikelomo: Okay. Good night
Me: Good night (I ended the call).
I knows that she likes me but she is too shy to admit it. I relaxed my mind and ready for bed when her message entered my phone:
“After what happened today; I think I’m falling in love with you which is not what I planned for. I love you too Femi (happy). Good Night Dear.”.
I was about reading the message for the tenth time when I received another message from her.
“Please delete both messages because of Bidemi (including this one). But that does not delete the feelings I have for you. Sweet dreams!”
O boy… I love this girl ooo! she sure has ways with words and it’s making to fall yakata like Romeo. I need to see her tomorrow.
I’m loving my life now. It’s getting Interesting like the Son of president Obamas son. Happy mood. I just slept off.
Read Next Episode
i was lost in thought that I forgot I was walking on the road instead of the side of the road until an okada guy sped off me and shouted “werey… aye ti sun e abi? O de loku Si ile yin” meaning “life don tire you abi? Go and die in your house”…. I shouted back at him “Na your family be werey”. By then my brain has been restored to factory settings.
I managed to get home without any more trouble. I went to Funmi’s room and asked if Daddy asked after me and she said no. Then off to my room still thinking about what happened today. What if I’m really impotent? I got to ask someone… but can I ask my friends this type of question? I picked my phone and I dialled Emeka’s number. I ended the call when I remembered that Emeka is a lousy guy. He might tell my other friends and make jest of me.
I was still contemplating who to ask about my new found problem when my only bros entered.
Bros Segun: Na you dey rain now…. you no even dey tell me anything again. Oga oooo
I didn’t even reply him and I guessed that he knew that my runs today ni too click today.
Bros Segun: aburo… what’s wrong with you?
Me: Nothing Bros… today didn’t go on as expected.
Bros Segun: I told you what girls are about, didn’t i? You will be fine with time.. trust me. I was once in your shoes (Smiling)
I was not in with his jokes and he sensed that…. he stood up and was heading to the door when I called out.
Me: bros Segun (he looks back)… I have a problem but I don’t want to talk about it now. can I come to your room later in the day?
Bros Segun: (he sensed that I’m already in a big trouble). Sure Aburo… I will be glad to help my only brother. Expecting you sooner.
Me: Okay… thanks….
He opened the door and left. I was then back to my misery when Bidemi called….(wetin dis one wants sef). I ignored the call. The call just kept ringing that I had to put it on silent.
After like 30 minutes, I picked my phone… Only to see 32missed calls on it (is this girl mad or something?).
I checked the missed calls:
24 from Bidemi….
6 from Kikelomo…. and
2 from Motunrayo.
Which kin wahala be dis sef? Motunrayo sef don join the league of people out to frustrate me. Of all the days, she choose today to call me.
It’s now after 6pm. I know that Bidemi would have been worried but who’s not worried. I switched off my phone and I headed to my brothers room.
I met him watching a movie on his laptop. Immediately he saw me entered, he stopped the film and said my blood brother.
I took my time to explain everything and he was a good listener.
Bros Segun: Na dat one con dey worry you
Me: shame catch me no be small… I have refused picking their calls today (dint tell him that it was Bidemi&Kikelomo).
Bros Segun: what happened today was called anxiety… you were trying too hard and it backs fire…. next time: just relax yourself and enjoy yourself.
He kept explaining on the reason why I failed to rise to the occasion and he promised me to get some performance enhancer that would give me the much confidence I need.
Me: thank you oooo… Badoo owon obirin. I know I can always count on you.
Bros Segun: don’t mention… I would have prescribed Alomo or small stout but we don’t drink and I don’t want to put you on the bad path. but don’t worry… the drugs I will give you will definitely work.
Me: Ese Egbon mi…. I feel relaxed now… let me call my girls so as to see who go fall victim (forming Rambo).
Bros Segun: just take am easy and always use protection. For unwanted pregnancy and STDs.
Me: Oga oooo… I still have a long way to go. I’m going to my room to make calls. Thanks Badoo
Bros Segun: you no serious
Left for my room with my spirit now elated…. on my phone and messages start entering. Two from Bidemi and one from Kikelomo. Dint even bother calling them back… I just dialled Motunrayo’s number. She picks.
Motunrayo: hello… runaway boyfriend
Me: hanhan…. I wanted to call you but………! never mind. Thank God You called.. I can start calling now
Motunrayo: hmnnnnn…. okay oooo. How is life over there?
Me: life is good ooooo (at least for now). So what’s up?
Motunrayo: Nothing much…. since you dint call me, I want to know if you dint save the number I gave you the other day. Now I know that you did.
Me: I’m sorry. I’m a very emotional person. I don’t want to start showing off my bad attitude because of my mood. I just lost my grandfather from my maternal side.
Motunrayo: sorry for your loss
Me: thanks jare… I’m not even close to him but my mum has not been herself for the past few days. I’m always with her. Her mood is affecting me too (grandfather wey don die before dem born me sef).
Motunrayo: pele… my mind just wanted to check on you, as if I knew something was wrong.
Me: I’m fine now…. Ese. so tell me. Do you still have those shinning, white and good set of teeth when you smile?
Motunrayo: chuckles* I don’t know what you are talking about
Me: Okay…. I got attracted to you because of your smiles…. apart from your Smiles, I like you in person.
Motunrayo: hmnnnnn…. so you like me and you dint deem to call since
Me: I explained to you na…. don’t worry. I will start calling you every hour tomorrow to let you know how serious I am.
Motunrayo: (giggles) I hope you fulfil it.
Me: I will…. Motunrayo, can I ask for a favour from you?
Motunrayo: sure
Me: actually it’s actually two favour(s)… please
Motunrayo: hmnnnnn… okay… let’s hear it.
Me: Okay…. the first favour is… can I see you in 2/3days time.
Motunrayo: today is Friday…. and 3 days time would be Monday. I’m sorry but I can make it on Tuesday.
Me: fine. Infact splendid! Thank you
Motunrayo: you welcome. What about the second favour?
Me: it’s when we see then we will discuss about that
Motunrayo: Okay oooo. Where are we meeting?
Me: you choose… KFC, Mr Bigg’s, Tantalizers… just name it.
Motunrayo: no ooooo. I don’t do fast food dating. My place or your place.
Me: Okay…. (your place ke) if you know that I will be free in your place and area… I will come but I would have preferred my place.
Motunrayo: Okay… your place is it.
Me: thanks. My promise starts after 8pm oooo after my morning chores..
Motunrayo: what promise? O o Okay.. no problem. We talk tomorrow then. Good night!
Me: good night plus sweet dreams
She hangs up and I punched the air in excitement. I now read Bidemi message and she was begging me to please pick her call while her sister (Kikelomo) reads: “my sister kept asking me if I did anything to annoy you. Please pick her call before she picks up quarrel with me”.
My mind skips when I finished reading the message. I dialled Bidemi’s number and She picked on the first beep.
Bidemi: hello
Me: sweet heart
Bidemi: nawa oo… just dey do as you like. I have been calling you since. you refused to pick up and you later switched off your phone.
Me: My Dad was upset because I did not ironed the cloth he asked me to (I lied). He asked me to stool down. I had to put off my phone when the call was much and it kept vibrating in my pocket.
Bidemi: Pele… have you ironed the cloth now?
Me: Yes? Saw your sisters text and she was begging me to call you. Hoped you didn’t fight with her?
Bidemi: no oooo… just kept asking if she did something to annoy you that made you not to pick my call.
Me: something like what ooo?
Bidemi: never mind…. thank God That you are fine.
Me: Okay oooo. I want to rest. I’m very tired.
Bidemi: Okay… sweet dreams
Me: same here. (ends the call)
I decided to call Kikelomo to know how she feels about today. Dials her number and she picks.
Kikelomo: Hello
Me: hi… hope I didn’t get you angry too?
Kikelomo: hmnnnnn… yes you did! hoped you have called your girlfriend sha?
Me: Yes… I explained to her that my Dad punished me for not doing something at the right time.
Kikelomo: so you admit that she is your girlfriend….
Me: what do you have me say na? If I had said “no she’s not” you would have brought up another issue
Kikelomo: Okay…. I hope what you told her was not true…. Your Dads punishment
Me: No oo… just had to lie na… you know Bidemi na…
Kikelomo: hmnnnnn…. Mr lie lie…. I hope all the things you told me today were not lies ooo
Me: I can’t remember all that I said but the part that I said that I liked you was a perfect lie.
Kikelomo: (voice saddened) you lied so that you can have your way with me. That’s a very harsh thing to say.
Me: on the contrary….. what I meant to say is that I lied when I said I liked you ….. when from the bottom of my heart I knew that I love you. “I love you Kikelomo”. I have always loved you.
We kept quiet for a while. I got her off guard and I know that I’m having effect on her.
Me: Okay… I understand. I’m sorry for loving you. I think we should go to bed now.
Kikelomo: Okay. Good night
Me: Good night (I ended the call).
I knows that she likes me but she is too shy to admit it. I relaxed my mind and ready for bed when her message entered my phone:
“After what happened today; I think I’m falling in love with you which is not what I planned for. I love you too Femi (happy). Good Night Dear.”.
I was about reading the message for the tenth time when I received another message from her.
“Please delete both messages because of Bidemi (including this one). But that does not delete the feelings I have for you. Sweet dreams!”
O boy… I love this girl ooo! she sure has ways with words and it’s making to fall yakata like Romeo. I need to see her tomorrow.
I’m loving my life now. It’s getting Interesting like the Son of president Obamas son. Happy mood. I just slept off.
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True Life Story 18+