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This barracks is the biggest in the whole west Africa and fourth in Africa and so u can find “the good, the bad, and the wohwoh” in it.
I thought of keeping 1k at home and taking 1k to gamble because i wasn’t a good gambler, “but i fit chop today oh”. I was still lost in thoughts wen mama came in.
“Good morning mama” i said.
“ehen good morning nwam” she responded.
She told me both of us will b going to farm later and dat i will assist her in hervesting the ugwu vegetable dat she will sell in “ottor” market. Dat is one of the hardest farm work as u are to hervest with care so as not to destroy the ugwu plant.
“iron lady mama” i hailed her and she gave me d most dazzling smile i have ever seen. Maybe dats d only thing i took after her, her good dentition, “i b my papa photocopy complete”. I tot as she left.
My mind was made up to go gamble later in the day. It was noon, and i had finished working in the farm with mama, i took my bath, put on my beautiful blue t- shirt that was crested “AM A RULER”, am i really a ruler? I asked myself as i walked slowly to go see Olu.
The sun on my skin made my fair it glow.
“Fanta how far”, it was Möses greeting,“wetin dey happen moses” i greeted back.
“where u dey go?” he asked, “i wan go tash for Olu place” (tash was our slang for gamble).
“Ok, make i go grind dis cassava, i go join una”
“ok come quick oh” i teased as he continued pushing the wheelbarrow full of cassava.
Olu was already doing what he knows best to do with Bola, the younger brother to Moses when i came and in teased Bola
“oboy ur bother dey go grind cassava u dey here dey tash abi”.
“leave me abeg i wan make money ni”.
I pondered for a second why Moses and Bola likes using “ni” after every statement, Maybe its their accent, i tot.
“how much, how much una dey go?” i asked.
“oboy na 1k” “u get the mind?” Olu asked.
“No i no come to tash, i come watch una oh” i lied.
“so dis place b like stadium wey dem dey watch match abi?” Olu teased.
“na u sabi oh” i said feeling unhappy.
Soon Moses came in. Then i tot of how i could multiply dis 1k in my pocket. An idea just droped. Olu was angry, he had lost all his money to Bola. “as a sharp ibo boy”, I called Olu aside and told him i had 1k with me.
“i want make u use am play” i said as i gave him d money. “if i win, na 50-50 oh” he said.
“no wahala, but u go tell Bola and him brother say na five hundred everybody go set oh” i inquired.
“no stress u b correct man” he said.
The dice was set rolling and i immediately put on a gloomy face. I saw Moses won d first round with 1500naira all to himself, i almost cried. Second round and Olu was smiling and said “am the man”. “how u take b the man when na only 500naira u get?” i tot.
Olu won and i was a bit happy. Now i can’t watch dis any more, it’s breaking my heart “i wan go piss” i said. Noboby noticed when i left as “their mind was where their money was”. The money was on the floor smiling at their gloomy faces.
Soon i was in “Mama big stout” joint as i ordered for my brand 1759 (GUINNESS), “u owe me 200naira since last week oh” i told mama BS as she is fondly called. “ok, make i use am bring u drink abi?”. “yes oh” i said.
As i drank d chilled 1759 i was thinking who would b on top of b game by now. Maybe Moses because he is as good Olu in the gambling professiön. I strayed my mind and remembered the shirt i asked Cosmos of, dat i had to go collect it and iron it for tommorow.
I got to Olu’s backyard and saw him seating alone eating egusi soup and eba, i was already salivating. I washed my hands and joined him as i was very famished. Curious, i asked him who won, he smiled and said “am the man”. “yes na u b OBA OLU OF TASH na” i teased as he told me the total money was 16k. “aaaah 16k” i shouted.
With much joy in me i finished the meal in split seconds. We then headed for Mama BS joint to take a drink or two and to share d money…
After two bottles of 1759, i was off to Cosmos’ house to collect the shirt. As i got there i met him and his younger brother Musa playing chess. Mehn Cosmos is the best chess player i have ever met, he taught me the game of chess and i hardly wins him in the game. I got there at the right time when they were about starting a new game.
“Cosmos the chess master” i teased.
Come to think of it, almost all my friends are masters of a particular specialty, except me. Femi- football, Olu- gamble, James- women, Mike- king of Sokoto and Cosmos- chess.
“u wan play?” Cosmos asked.
“abi u for say i want flogging, because u sabi flog me” i responded.
He laughed as i took my seat opposite him. We started as Cosmos instructed Musa to go bring me the shirt i asked for. Cosmos was playing with so much dexterity as i tried defending all his attacking moves to obey his popular cliche which says “defence is d only way of attacking”.
As i tried focusing i saw Musa come out with not only the shirt but “fura de nunu”. “oboy fura don come oh” Musa said.
I was having an upper hand, it was as if the fura was a source of inspiration to me, every sip brought me closer to wining. Until…Gbam, checkmate... I left Cosmos beaten.
On my way home, i could c d cloud darken as if it would burst into tears soon. I was about taking the bending that leads me home i saw two guys approaching me. “fantalolo fanta” it was Mike.
“Mike how far, dem don release una” i asked
“dem don release us oh after much beating” James said.
I could see some bruises in Mike’s face. “guy make una go house na, sokoto must still continue” i said.
“sure sokoto cannot die” Mike said, at dat moment i hailed Mike “King of sokoto” we shook hands cheerfully as i left dem. As i walked the lonely path dat leads home i heard something move in d bush path dat frightened me. “e fit b snake oh” i tot.
At dat moment i recalled the incident in the farm when i was clearing the bush one day, i suddenly saw this huge smake that was as long a belt. I almost ran, but i didn’t. I tried to make sure i was not very close wen i stroke it with my matchete. To my surpise, it died instantly.
I got home by 6. “omo c light oh” i said joyfully. What came to mind was the nylon bag i was holding, for me to go iron my cloth and prepare for work. I greeted mama as i walked in, i also greeted papa inside who told me to come polish his army boot immediate.
I got into my cubicle room- so small dat i wondered if those dat did d building thought it was goats that would occupy the room. I hurriedly ironed my cloth and rushed out with my black shoe in hand sweeting. I polished all papa’s five army boot; one for each working day as well as my “casino kino” shoe.
Dat moment i reminese with nostalgia how i bragged about my “casino kino” in sokoto one day and James laughed and said “dat ur kpangolo shoe nahim u take dey make mouth abi”. Everybody in sokoto laughed at me dat day and i said “monkey no fine, but him mama like am” in shame.
At this moment i tot of going to meet james to ask him to lend me his fine shoes and original rolex wrist watch. Jame sure spends money to look good, maybe dats y the he is every girl’s dream man in d barracks.
“how i go go borrow shoe and watch, i dey go party?” i asked myself as mama called for dinner. I dey come mama.. It was morning devotion and i thanked God for the job and asked God to help me work deligently.
I was dressed smelling fresh after stealing papa’s perfume ;-). I walked to “pammy bus stop” as i thougt of how the bus stop got the name; they sold pammy (palm wine) there at nite. I waved at a keke (tricycle) as they was no bike, “if to say dem no ban bike shebi Mike for just come carry me now” i tot.
Mike drove Okada (bike) as well as he deals on suppling weed to sokoto for a living. Since the commandant of the barracks ban the use of bike for commercial purpose saying barrack boys uses it to rob, Mike sold his bike and concentrated on “weed distribution” business squarely.
Soon i boarded a keke and told d rider the address after instructing him specifically to stop directly in front of the company, “because i no wan make my shoe carry dust” i tot as we zoomed off.. As the keke moved, i could feel the cool morning breeze.
“Guy ur money na 500 naira oh” said d keke guy “500 wetin?” i asked. “u no hear me well, u no know say na outside barracks u dey go and na chata u go pay for?” he said.
“i go pay no worry” i said bearing in mind dat my wallet was fat with my share of the money Olu won from Moses and Bola.
“i no b gentle man at all, i no b gentle at all eyoh” that was Fela’s song blasting from the
guys stereo. “So keke don dey get stereo” i tot as i looked at myself in the side mirror of the keke if i looked more like a “gentleman” like Fela sang.
I was impressed by what i saw, ”fine boy” as ever, even finer today. We got to Precious water in no time. I saw Yetunde’s car parked outside in-between two big truck they use for distrubution maybe, i tot.
I walked with calculated steps into my office. I said a little prayer as i steped into my office. Soon Yetunde was in my office gorgeously dressed.
“good morning” she said, i could hear the good morning re-echo in my head as if she had said it a hundred times. “good morning” i responded, i suddenly setmy eyes on her a*ss this time around it looks as if it had grown bigger and more charming.
“you are to inspect the activities of the departments” she said in a rather commanding tone. She commented on my beautiful shirt (borrow borrow) , as i also told her how beautiful she was, she smiled and left rolling her a*ss, i could feel my d*ick rise.
As i inspected the department’s activities i immediately noticed dat each department had king (the most hard working). Like; king of store, king of sealing, king of supply, king of bottling etc. It made me remembered Mike, he wrote “KOS” (king of sokoto) in his seat in sokoto as the sole supplier of weed (nobody dares seat there).
“so na dis work i go dey do everyday” i tot at the close of work as i walked slowly to the bus stop…
Read Next Episode
This barracks is the biggest in the whole west Africa and fourth in Africa and so u can find “the good, the bad, and the wohwoh” in it.
I thought of keeping 1k at home and taking 1k to gamble because i wasn’t a good gambler, “but i fit chop today oh”. I was still lost in thoughts wen mama came in.
“Good morning mama” i said.
“ehen good morning nwam” she responded.
She told me both of us will b going to farm later and dat i will assist her in hervesting the ugwu vegetable dat she will sell in “ottor” market. Dat is one of the hardest farm work as u are to hervest with care so as not to destroy the ugwu plant.
“iron lady mama” i hailed her and she gave me d most dazzling smile i have ever seen. Maybe dats d only thing i took after her, her good dentition, “i b my papa photocopy complete”. I tot as she left.
My mind was made up to go gamble later in the day. It was noon, and i had finished working in the farm with mama, i took my bath, put on my beautiful blue t- shirt that was crested “AM A RULER”, am i really a ruler? I asked myself as i walked slowly to go see Olu.
The sun on my skin made my fair it glow.
“Fanta how far”, it was Möses greeting,“wetin dey happen moses” i greeted back.
“where u dey go?” he asked, “i wan go tash for Olu place” (tash was our slang for gamble).
“Ok, make i go grind dis cassava, i go join una”
“ok come quick oh” i teased as he continued pushing the wheelbarrow full of cassava.
Olu was already doing what he knows best to do with Bola, the younger brother to Moses when i came and in teased Bola
“oboy ur bother dey go grind cassava u dey here dey tash abi”.
“leave me abeg i wan make money ni”.
I pondered for a second why Moses and Bola likes using “ni” after every statement, Maybe its their accent, i tot.
“how much, how much una dey go?” i asked.
“oboy na 1k” “u get the mind?” Olu asked.
“No i no come to tash, i come watch una oh” i lied.
“so dis place b like stadium wey dem dey watch match abi?” Olu teased.
“na u sabi oh” i said feeling unhappy.
Soon Moses came in. Then i tot of how i could multiply dis 1k in my pocket. An idea just droped. Olu was angry, he had lost all his money to Bola. “as a sharp ibo boy”, I called Olu aside and told him i had 1k with me.
“i want make u use am play” i said as i gave him d money. “if i win, na 50-50 oh” he said.
“no wahala, but u go tell Bola and him brother say na five hundred everybody go set oh” i inquired.
“no stress u b correct man” he said.
The dice was set rolling and i immediately put on a gloomy face. I saw Moses won d first round with 1500naira all to himself, i almost cried. Second round and Olu was smiling and said “am the man”. “how u take b the man when na only 500naira u get?” i tot.
Olu won and i was a bit happy. Now i can’t watch dis any more, it’s breaking my heart “i wan go piss” i said. Noboby noticed when i left as “their mind was where their money was”. The money was on the floor smiling at their gloomy faces.
Soon i was in “Mama big stout” joint as i ordered for my brand 1759 (GUINNESS), “u owe me 200naira since last week oh” i told mama BS as she is fondly called. “ok, make i use am bring u drink abi?”. “yes oh” i said.
As i drank d chilled 1759 i was thinking who would b on top of b game by now. Maybe Moses because he is as good Olu in the gambling professiön. I strayed my mind and remembered the shirt i asked Cosmos of, dat i had to go collect it and iron it for tommorow.
I got to Olu’s backyard and saw him seating alone eating egusi soup and eba, i was already salivating. I washed my hands and joined him as i was very famished. Curious, i asked him who won, he smiled and said “am the man”. “yes na u b OBA OLU OF TASH na” i teased as he told me the total money was 16k. “aaaah 16k” i shouted.
With much joy in me i finished the meal in split seconds. We then headed for Mama BS joint to take a drink or two and to share d money…
After two bottles of 1759, i was off to Cosmos’ house to collect the shirt. As i got there i met him and his younger brother Musa playing chess. Mehn Cosmos is the best chess player i have ever met, he taught me the game of chess and i hardly wins him in the game. I got there at the right time when they were about starting a new game.
“Cosmos the chess master” i teased.
Come to think of it, almost all my friends are masters of a particular specialty, except me. Femi- football, Olu- gamble, James- women, Mike- king of Sokoto and Cosmos- chess.
“u wan play?” Cosmos asked.
“abi u for say i want flogging, because u sabi flog me” i responded.
He laughed as i took my seat opposite him. We started as Cosmos instructed Musa to go bring me the shirt i asked for. Cosmos was playing with so much dexterity as i tried defending all his attacking moves to obey his popular cliche which says “defence is d only way of attacking”.
As i tried focusing i saw Musa come out with not only the shirt but “fura de nunu”. “oboy fura don come oh” Musa said.
I was having an upper hand, it was as if the fura was a source of inspiration to me, every sip brought me closer to wining. Until…Gbam, checkmate... I left Cosmos beaten.
On my way home, i could c d cloud darken as if it would burst into tears soon. I was about taking the bending that leads me home i saw two guys approaching me. “fantalolo fanta” it was Mike.
“Mike how far, dem don release una” i asked
“dem don release us oh after much beating” James said.
I could see some bruises in Mike’s face. “guy make una go house na, sokoto must still continue” i said.
“sure sokoto cannot die” Mike said, at dat moment i hailed Mike “King of sokoto” we shook hands cheerfully as i left dem. As i walked the lonely path dat leads home i heard something move in d bush path dat frightened me. “e fit b snake oh” i tot.
At dat moment i recalled the incident in the farm when i was clearing the bush one day, i suddenly saw this huge smake that was as long a belt. I almost ran, but i didn’t. I tried to make sure i was not very close wen i stroke it with my matchete. To my surpise, it died instantly.
I got home by 6. “omo c light oh” i said joyfully. What came to mind was the nylon bag i was holding, for me to go iron my cloth and prepare for work. I greeted mama as i walked in, i also greeted papa inside who told me to come polish his army boot immediate.
I got into my cubicle room- so small dat i wondered if those dat did d building thought it was goats that would occupy the room. I hurriedly ironed my cloth and rushed out with my black shoe in hand sweeting. I polished all papa’s five army boot; one for each working day as well as my “casino kino” shoe.
Dat moment i reminese with nostalgia how i bragged about my “casino kino” in sokoto one day and James laughed and said “dat ur kpangolo shoe nahim u take dey make mouth abi”. Everybody in sokoto laughed at me dat day and i said “monkey no fine, but him mama like am” in shame.
At this moment i tot of going to meet james to ask him to lend me his fine shoes and original rolex wrist watch. Jame sure spends money to look good, maybe dats y the he is every girl’s dream man in d barracks.
“how i go go borrow shoe and watch, i dey go party?” i asked myself as mama called for dinner. I dey come mama.. It was morning devotion and i thanked God for the job and asked God to help me work deligently.
I was dressed smelling fresh after stealing papa’s perfume ;-). I walked to “pammy bus stop” as i thougt of how the bus stop got the name; they sold pammy (palm wine) there at nite. I waved at a keke (tricycle) as they was no bike, “if to say dem no ban bike shebi Mike for just come carry me now” i tot.
Mike drove Okada (bike) as well as he deals on suppling weed to sokoto for a living. Since the commandant of the barracks ban the use of bike for commercial purpose saying barrack boys uses it to rob, Mike sold his bike and concentrated on “weed distribution” business squarely.
Soon i boarded a keke and told d rider the address after instructing him specifically to stop directly in front of the company, “because i no wan make my shoe carry dust” i tot as we zoomed off.. As the keke moved, i could feel the cool morning breeze.
“Guy ur money na 500 naira oh” said d keke guy “500 wetin?” i asked. “u no hear me well, u no know say na outside barracks u dey go and na chata u go pay for?” he said.
“i go pay no worry” i said bearing in mind dat my wallet was fat with my share of the money Olu won from Moses and Bola.
“i no b gentle man at all, i no b gentle at all eyoh” that was Fela’s song blasting from the
guys stereo. “So keke don dey get stereo” i tot as i looked at myself in the side mirror of the keke if i looked more like a “gentleman” like Fela sang.
I was impressed by what i saw, ”fine boy” as ever, even finer today. We got to Precious water in no time. I saw Yetunde’s car parked outside in-between two big truck they use for distrubution maybe, i tot.
I walked with calculated steps into my office. I said a little prayer as i steped into my office. Soon Yetunde was in my office gorgeously dressed.
“good morning” she said, i could hear the good morning re-echo in my head as if she had said it a hundred times. “good morning” i responded, i suddenly setmy eyes on her a*ss this time around it looks as if it had grown bigger and more charming.
“you are to inspect the activities of the departments” she said in a rather commanding tone. She commented on my beautiful shirt (borrow borrow) , as i also told her how beautiful she was, she smiled and left rolling her a*ss, i could feel my d*ick rise.
As i inspected the department’s activities i immediately noticed dat each department had king (the most hard working). Like; king of store, king of sealing, king of supply, king of bottling etc. It made me remembered Mike, he wrote “KOS” (king of sokoto) in his seat in sokoto as the sole supplier of weed (nobody dares seat there).
“so na dis work i go dey do everyday” i tot at the close of work as i walked slowly to the bus stop…
Tags:
True Life Story 12+